i'm supposed to be happy right?
guess everyone is moving on, but i can't move on. i keep thinking about ac. i keep thinking about the times in ac. it paralyzing me, i can't move on. i know everyone has adapted, but this is really hard for me.
there are times, that i feel so so alone. studying by myself on a saturday seems so foreign. walking ard everywhere by myself,keeping quiet for the whole day, is foreign. not being able to look forward to getting hugs from pple like esther and anna when the day is really bad is unbearable. not having van and dee explain entire concepts for me is foreign.

yes, candice and ying sze are very supportive and v. understanding and campus pple are nice, but i miss really really laughing at things instead of having to force myself to laugh because that's the only thing that keeps me from shuttting everyone else out.i hate the constant work thing. i hate my responsibilities. i hate that assignments keep flying at me like flies. i know others can handle it and sde is supposed to be really slack. cause i've compared my workload and its not that bad. i'm supposed to be happy right?

weren't dee, van and i excited about school? did that just disappear? i just wanna sleep without having to feel guilty? nvm. i'll get through this. 1 mnth more and i'll be free!

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